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I am currently extremely addicted to the following songs which are played on random/loop constantly throughout my day:
Black Eyed Peas - "Sexy"
Fergie - "All That I Got"
Kanye West - "Stronger"
Sergio Mendes ft Will.I.Am and Erykah Badu - "That Heat"
Sergio Mendes ft Will.I.Am and Justin Timberlake - "Loose Ends"
T-Pain - "Bartender"
T-Pain - "Buy You A Drank"
Nothing But The Girl - "Corcovado"
LOVES IT.
Var
sent a postcard on 7/23/2007
Great way to start the semster, Steph.
For some reason last night I couldn't sleep. I believe it has something to do with the fact that I was drinking lots of coke while visiting the parentals'. Anyway, was up till about 3:30am and finally decided to force myself to sleep. Woke up half an hour later and was unable to go back to sleep. Was wide awake.
Got ready for work, including breakfast, which is a meal which my late, disorganised mornings are entirely unfamiliar with. For some reason I have recently been having extreme cravings for green, leafy vegetables so have been on a health kick with baby spinach salads.
Anyway, got to work at 7:00am - exactly on time for once. Did all the usual things. About 9am, just as both my bosses come in, the tiredness hit me. My eyes started to sting, my body kind of forcibly relaxed itself and I found myself kind of...flop-sliding around the reception area. Couldn't bring myself to sound peppy and chirpy on the phone, couldn't concentrate on small text without great effort and could not stop myself from frequently making large, long yawns. It was really, really bad. It was so bad that at stages I had to sit myself down in order to catch my breath (perhaps breathing problems had something to do with the chest pains and yawning?). And at one point, just before lunch, I kind of zoned out at the desk, staring off into space while slowly but surely falling asleep at my extremely public seat.
At lunch, instead of getting something to eat, I crashed in a friend's bed for the half hour. What they say about fifteen minute power naps (à la safe driving when fatigued) is true - it really can make a difference. When I returned from lunch, even though I was still generally exhausted, I found my ability to function much improved.
That having been said, though, I still didn't deem myself in a right-enough mind to attend my first class, so I skipped it in order to go home and sleep some more. ^_^;; So it's been more than six months since I've been at uni and the first day I get the chance to go, I skip.
I am adamant that this will not become a habit though. I intend to be a model student, despite the fact that I'll still be working considerable hours during the week. Would like to pick up some hobbies though. Looking at pole-dancing, muay thai kickboxing (again) and perhaps singing lessons. Unfortunately, my beloved wushu will have to be put on hold yet again as I have class during both periods in which the classes are held. -_-;;
Wondering if I am justified in spending this money on hobbies now as opposed to saving it for adventures abroad later. Always a concern...=/
Var
sent a postcard on 7/23/2007
"A few months had seen the beginning and the end of their acquaintance; but, not with a few months ended Anne's share of suffering from it. Her attachment and regrets had, for a long time, clouded every enjoyment of youth; and an early loss of bloom and spirits had been their lasting effect." - Persuasion, Jane Austen When students leave their apartments, they often leave a lot of crap behind, including books. After the recent onslaught of check outs these past couple of weeks, we have built up a veritable library of abandoned literature. In my browsings, I came across some Chronicles of Narnia books and some English texts. Now I've never really had an appreciation of classic literature, but being that I'm becoming extremely Arts-focused in uni now, I figure I should at least try and see what the hype is all about.
I picked up "Jane Eyre" by Emily Bronte and "Persuasion" by Jane Austen, neither of which I have read and the latter of which I am currently reading now. The above is a passage taken from it and an apt description of how I've felt for a while. Last year I had a rather intense affair with an exchange student and despite its brevity, it has certainly left its lasting effect. I am no longer the person I used to be and indeed feel as if I have experienced an "early loss of bloom".
As of late, I have found myself often indulging in drunken romps through bars and nightclubs, the most recent of which occurred two nights ago. Unfortunately, I am a fan of pale alcohols (such as vodka). When I go clubbing, I go there to dance and when I dance, I get thirsty. Naturally, I order something alcoholic but because I always order pale alcohol, I never really notice the taste. So I just drink it like I would drink a normal drink if I was extremely thirsty - quickly. I also happen to be fairly good at skulling drinks, a combination of which proves to lead to bad things.
Friday night, I got quite smashingly intoxicated to the point where I was unable to dance without fear of falling on my ass. So I took some time out, which lead to boredom. This lead to playing with my new phone, which lead to messaging and calling people. This behaviour continued even after I had gone home and one of the calls happened to be to my ex.
Joy.
I didn't actually expect him to pick up and he didn't expect me to be calling him. Either way, we found ourselves talking to each other for the first time in about 3 months. As soon as he heard my voice: "Oh....he-ey....>_>"
Oh GOD.
So yes, in short (and indeed it was a short conversation), it no longer turns out that he is avoiding me because it is too hard for him, but simply because he doesn't give a shit. He no longer cares about me, nor does he wish to be any part of my life.
Coming to realise this hurt greatly, but at the same time, knowing that he was not actually suffering anymore relieved a good deal of my own suffering. If he is past it then there is no point in me pursuing him, which means I can finally move on.
What I regret most is that somewhere along the way, I lost one of the closest friends I ever had.
But y'know...shit happens.
Var
sent a postcard on 7/22/2007
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