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What does it feel like to be concussed?
I had a weird experience today. I was happily riding along on my tram as I always do (cos I'm too lazy to walk anywhere and am always late for everything so need the fastest route) when suddenly, it jerked to a stop. No, wait - "jerked" is not strong enough a description. The tram came to a long, screeching halt. The brakes were put on hard but the momentum must've kept us going for at least six seconds and I couldn't tell which was louder: the screams of the young girls behind me or the sound of metal scraping painfully on metal beneath our feet.
Of course it all happened at once but in retrospect I'm able to analyse my position and how the occurances occurred. I was sitting right at the very front, just behind the driver's booth. When the tram first braked, I dug in my heels and tried to use my legs to push me back into the seat but the force of the momentum had me slowly sliding forward anyway. Now I was thinking, "Why the hell didn't I put my arms up to shield myself or stop myself?" but thinking back, I realise my hands had stupidly been holding my laptop bag against my lap to keep it from falling. So here I was, sliding forward as the tram slowed from a relatively fast pace, my hands in my lap and my feet skidding against the floor. I was still falling forward but I hadn't hit the wall yet so it was fine. But when the tram finally stopped - THAT was when it jerked, throwing my body forward and causing my head to smack against the front wall.
There was a flicker of a blackout but I'm not sure whether that was simply me closing my eyes against the impact or a side effect of cerebral trauma. The first thing that came to mind was for me to turn around and see what happened to everyone else. Some people were getting up off the floor, others were loosening their grips on the poles or handles they had desperately made a grab for, and the rest were just looking a little shaken in their seats.
The driver stepped out from his booth and said, "Is everyone okay?"
No one responded.
The driver took that as an affirmative and went on to apologise and explain that a car had just pulled out right in front of him so he had had no choice.
One stop later, I stumbled off the tram a bit disoriented, a bit fuzzy and with one part of my head angrily radiating heat. I was fine, though, but when I passed my ex-boss on the way into my building she mentioned the word "concussion".
I have never been concussed before. I don't know what it would be like. But I've heard some stuff about it. Vague bits and pieces which I don't remember well.
I've heard people who don't have their concussion looked at will go to sleep and sometimes not wake up.
My head has stopped hurting, although I've been feeling very drowsy. Could just be from the exhaustion of wandering around the city for the day. I try not to jump to conclusions. Also, I hate doctors and hospitals. They have been far too much of a feature of my life recently.
Oh yes, I am one accident-prone little mofo.
When I was younger, I used to wish that I could go to sleep and never wake up. Not in a suicidal way, but I just loved sleep; it's such a peaceful experience, nothing to worry about, nothing to stress you or tire you out.
So I'm going to sleep now with the seeds of a tram phobia budding in my psyche.
Goodnight.
Var
sent a postcard on 9/27/2007
I should really start drawing again...
Var
sent a postcard on 9/23/2007
I have never been more far away from my dreams.
Var
sent a postcard on 9/20/2007
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