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I have mentioned in earlier posts that there is a building across the road which has been under construction. There is a platform supported by large cables at the front to allow for workers to move up and down the building. The wind is quite strong right now and it is hitting the cables hard against the thick windows of the building.
It's 2:30am in the morning and I am alone in the vast apartment. My room is dark and still and in the silence I can hear the rhythmic banging of the cable ringing clear like the snap of a whip against cold floorboards.
Snap.
Snap.
Snap.
Var
sent a postcard on 11/22/2008
AWESOME.
Exams are over...but now for the after-effects.
Every time I hit exam period - because no doubt I have not studied well for them - I go into a state of extreme neglect. I don't sleep correctly, I don't eat well or skip meals, I ignore social opportunities, I don't visit my parents, I forgo wushu training and gym, I don't clean the house. The only things which withstand exam-hell are personal hygiene and work - somehow I manage to still do a good job at work (perhaps it's the constant state of heightened awareness, a mix of pre-exam adrenaline and sleep-deprivation) and stay clean (I think I use this as an excuse to take a break so ALWAYS make sure I spend time on this). ALL my time and energy is focused towards staying awake whilst listening to hours of droning lectures, whilst reading tiny, tiny text with few pictures and whilst trying to decipher the illegible notes I "took" during the lectures I DID attend.
I am very disappointed with myself, even more so than usual because I actually DID do well for a while. I saw some improvement; I was attending all lectures, staying focused, alert and taking notes (even though they turned out to be too difficult to read later - damn my shorthand and messy handwriting!) and handing up my assignments on time. I think I can time my decline to when I fractured my foot. It's really stupid but I guess when I'm going well, I'm going very well and when I fall, I crumble very easily.
So the result? My creative writing subject was handed up three days late (6% penalty) and majority of the study/learning for my two psych exams took place the night before that actual date. -_-
One very noticeable difference is my mindset towards exams though. I recall my first and second years, how I would get so incredibly stressed out. This year, I was completely and utterly
chill.
I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Is it because I have become a less high-strung person? Or is it because I've just given in and given up?
Another thing which I'm not sure is good or bad is the fact that I left both my psych exams half an hour early. In all my former years, this has never happened. I have ALWAYS been pushing the time limits (and in the past I've had to endure THREE hour exams).
I felt as if I knew a lot of the answers, but I'm not sure if my mind was just kidding itself or whether the knowledge was actually there. So I came out of the exam feeling confident that I would get at least 70%. Once again, not sure if my mind is simply in denial and trying to be overly optimistic/unrealistic to cover it up, but really, all I want/need is a pass. All I want is to not have to repeat subjects, to have to keep extending my university time.
My degree has become so ludicrous. I was organising my re-enrolment and plugged my subject history including marks into Excel. I sorted them so that they were separated into their respective components: arts or science. If you look at all my creative writing subjects, the marks range from 70-80%. On the other hand, when you look at my psychology subjects, the marks range from FAIL-60%. I have talked to so many people (course advisors, course co-ordinators, lecturers, student advisors) about dropping science, about trying to get into straight arts, but stupid GPA rules say I can't.
And you know what? I worked out how many subjects I have left to do to complete my degree. It is NINE. You know what that means? I have to take another year (two semesters with four subjects in each)PLUS ONE SUBJECT. ONE SUBJECT!!! WTF! So annoying I have to take a whole semester just to do one more stupid fucking subject!!
Ugh. Anyway, moving on from academic woes...just came back from watching Quantum of Solace. Not as good as the first one (Casino Royale will always be a favourite) but not as bad as the Movie Show rated it. Choppy editing interspersed with pretensiously artsy and none-too-subtle symbolism makes for confusing action scenes. Daniel Craig, for the love of god please continue being THE James Bond so that the likes of people like Pierce Brosnan can no longer sully his name.
Also, going to Sexpo tomorrow for the first time. Maybe come back with photos? Or perhaps it'll just be too embarassing. My boss keeps telling me there's this guy dressed as a giant penis and a girl dressed as a giant vagina and they purposefully and often keep trying to run into each other. *shakes head* Will let you know. *lol* Oh, and am overdue for posting about the Angelsea wushu camp that I went on two weeks ago. Remind me. =D
EDIT: Sorry, this happens often: I start writing a blog post with one intention in mind and then get side-tracked in tangents. So I started this post with "now for the after-effects". This was what I was going to say:
Need to...
- clean house
- get back to wushu training
- start gymming daily again
- start eating better and cooking for self/grocery shopping instead of buying quick and easy garbage from nearby fast-food joints
- reconnect with friends
- start/continue projects I intended to do months ago (eg. drawing, writing)
- MAKE SHITLOADS OF MOULAH IN THE HOLIDAYS IN ORDER TO BE CASHED UP FOR NEXT YEAR WHEN UNABLE TO WORK DURING MANY-HOURED UNI WEEKS
So that's my to-do list. Let's see how much I can accomplish this summer! =D
Var
sent a postcard on 11/22/2008
Excerpt from a convo I had with a friend today:
Varya says (8:54 PM):
You know what else I recalled
Varya says (8:54 PM):
for some reason it's like..nostalgia time.
Varya says (8:55 PM):
I had the name "Chu" in my head.
Varya says (8:55 PM):
And I remembered this guy
Varya says (8:55 PM):
with the surname Chu.
Varya says (8:55 PM):
Couldn't remember anything about him or the significance.
Varya says (8:55 PM):
Finally it's all come together
Varya says (8:56 PM):
This guy Alex Chu was my partner for a duologue when I was in this drama club/workshop thing in high school called the Shakespeare Workshop.
Varya says (8:56 PM):
He was short and asian which automatically meant I didn't like him.
Varya says (8:56 PM):
I mean..
Varya says (8:56 PM):
I wasn't attracted to him.
Varya says (8:56 PM):
But he was actually a really nice guy.
Varya says (8:56 PM):
And we had lots of fun/got along really well during practices.
Varya says (8:56 PM):
After we did the performance and won an award, there was a party.
Varya says (8:57 PM):
At the party, he got one of his friends to ask me out for him.
Varya says (8:57 PM):
My friends were laughing and I just said, "What? No!" with extreme disdain mostly cause I could barely believe that someone had asked me out at all.
Varya says (8:57 PM):
Then I kind of immediately regretted it.
Varya says (8:58 PM):
And saw the guy running back to tell Alex.
Varya says (8:58 PM):
And Alex looked so crushed.
Haze says (8:58 PM):
aww
Varya says (8:58 PM):
And didn't talk to me again after that.
Haze says (8:58 PM):
you're looking back on all your asian disgraces
Haze says (8:58 PM):
lmao
Varya says (8:58 PM):
*lol*
Haze says (8:58 PM):
sorry i know it's sad
Haze says (8:58 PM):
but still
Haze says (8:58 PM):
i mean everyone does it
Varya says (8:58 PM):
I've always thought I would love to say sorry to that boy
Varya says (8:58 PM):
I was young!
Varya says (8:58 PM):
I didn't know what feelings were.
Varya says (8:58 PM):
*lol*
Haze says (8:59 PM):
aww
Varya says (8:59 PM):
crushes/interest back then for me were like...fleeting hormones which lasted maybe a day before switching onto someone else or into non-existence.
--
So, Alex Chu, it is unlikely you will ever read this. I only saw you one time again after that at Brenner's while I was working. I don't think you recognised me, which is fine; I like to think that everyone's feelings at that age were as shallow as mine. But for that moment when your friend ran back to you, for that moment where I could see how the word "crushed" could be expressed through facial features, for whatever you might have been feeling when I wrote "Hi" to you on MSN and you didn't reply - I'm sorry. I honestly never meant to be cruel. I wanted so many times to call you and tell you that I had valued your friendship but I was too freaked out. So I just let it go - one of the first of many mistakes I have made in my life.
If I ever see you again, even if you don't remember me, I will say hi and try to make amends, cos really, you were a very cool guy. =)
(Also, no offence to any short, asian guys. I know most of you are cool but in a relationship with me, there'd only be room for one short asian and I sure ain't makin' any height.)
Var
sent a postcard on 11/15/2008
You know what? I reckon he puts it on. I reckon he stammers and hesitates and ums and ahs and gets lost in his own notes because he knows he doesn't have enough content to cover the whole 2-hour period assigned for his lecture.
Nope, you can't slip nothin' by me. >=D
Var
sent a postcard on 11/13/2008
What the hell! The apartment is flooded.
I came back to an empty home. Dropped my stuff off in my room, then went to switch off the living room lights. As soon as the apartment fell dark, I heard a rustling sound. I froze, knowing that I hadn't heard anyone come in after me, wondering if perhaps I had obliviously breezed past an intruder who had been hiding in the kitchen.
The rustling continued and I slowly edged my way back to the entrance hall. Dramatically stepping from around the corner, I was faced with - nothing. Just the darkness. Frowning, I reached over to switch the light back on. Only then did I realise that the sound was not rustling but trickling.
There was water leaking down the wall from the air conditioning vent.
I put some towels underneath and went downstairs to the building manager's office to get his emergency number off the door. Unfortunately he's only on duty during the weekdays so he had gone out of Melbourne to visit family and said he couldn't do anything till the morning. I thought, "Okay, that's fine. It's just a little bit of water anyway. I'm sure it'll be fine till then."
Went back to the apartment. The water was now gushing. Literally pouring forth from the air vent across our electrical switchboard, over our intercom phone and settling into our nice carpet. Joy.
Called the building manager again and explained that the situation was bad enough that it had to be dealt with right away. He suggested the apartment above was flooded and advised me to call them on the intercom. Trooping back downstairs cos our lifts are restricted, it took four times buzzing them before they picked up.
"Yeah we just got back. One of the guys left the taps on. Sorry. We're dealing with it right now."
'Left the taps on'?!?!
I headed back up once again to see if it had stopped. Eventually the water slowed to a drip. Removing the already soaked tea towels, I grabbed all the bath mats I could find and shoved them underneath to try and absorb as much moisture as possible. Knowing there was nothing more I could do till morning, I started to prepare for bed.
Ten minutes later, my rooommate called me from the kitchen, sounding quite alarmed. I joined her - and we both stared.
Water was spilling from one of the kitchen light fittings. Luckily it was mostly heading into the sink. I figured it was just the excess which had come around the other side and that eventually it would peter out on it's own. We moved the kettle and toaster from the area and switched off all the lights before placing a saucepan under the leak. I had to empty that saucepan TWICE. That's how much water was coming through - and that was only from the light fitting. There was heaps more before going into our carpet.
So now we have about a 4x4m patch of soggy carpet and a mini water feature in our kitchen.
Bloody brilliant.
Var
sent a postcard on 11/01/2008
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