Varya says (8:54 PM): You know what else I recalled Varya says (8:54 PM): for some reason it's like..nostalgia time. Varya says (8:55 PM): I had the name "Chu" in my head. Varya says (8:55 PM): And I remembered this guy Varya says (8:55 PM): with the surname Chu. Varya says (8:55 PM): Couldn't remember anything about him or the significance. Varya says (8:55 PM): Finally it's all come together Varya says (8:56 PM): This guy Alex Chu was my partner for a duologue when I was in this drama club/workshop thing in high school called the Shakespeare Workshop. Varya says (8:56 PM): He was short and asian which automatically meant I didn't like him. Varya says (8:56 PM): I mean.. Varya says (8:56 PM): I wasn't attracted to him. Varya says (8:56 PM): But he was actually a really nice guy. Varya says (8:56 PM): And we had lots of fun/got along really well during practices. Varya says (8:56 PM): After we did the performance and won an award, there was a party. Varya says (8:57 PM): At the party, he got one of his friends to ask me out for him. Varya says (8:57 PM): My friends were laughing and I just said, "What? No!" with extreme disdain mostly cause I could barely believe that someone had asked me out at all. Varya says (8:57 PM): Then I kind of immediately regretted it. Varya says (8:58 PM): And saw the guy running back to tell Alex. Varya says (8:58 PM): And Alex looked so crushed. Haze says (8:58 PM): aww Varya says (8:58 PM): And didn't talk to me again after that. Haze says (8:58 PM): you're looking back on all your asian disgraces Haze says (8:58 PM): lmao Varya says (8:58 PM): *lol* Haze says (8:58 PM): sorry i know it's sad Haze says (8:58 PM): but still Haze says (8:58 PM): i mean everyone does it Varya says (8:58 PM): I've always thought I would love to say sorry to that boy Varya says (8:58 PM): I was young! Varya says (8:58 PM): I didn't know what feelings were. Varya says (8:58 PM): *lol* Haze says (8:59 PM): aww Varya says (8:59 PM): crushes/interest back then for me were like...fleeting hormones which lasted maybe a day before switching onto someone else or into non-existence.
--
So, Alex Chu, it is unlikely you will ever read this. I only saw you one time again after that at Brenner's while I was working. I don't think you recognised me, which is fine; I like to think that everyone's feelings at that age were as shallow as mine. But for that moment when your friend ran back to you, for that moment where I could see how the word "crushed" could be expressed through facial features, for whatever you might have been feeling when I wrote "Hi" to you on MSN and you didn't reply - I'm sorry. I honestly never meant to be cruel. I wanted so many times to call you and tell you that I had valued your friendship but I was too freaked out. So I just let it go - one of the first of many mistakes I have made in my life.
If I ever see you again, even if you don't remember me, I will say hi and try to make amends, cos really, you were a very cool guy. =)
(Also, no offence to any short, asian guys. I know most of you are cool but in a relationship with me, there'd only be room for one short asian and I sure ain't makin' any height.)
Var
sent a postcard on 11/15/2008
You know what? I reckon he puts it on. I reckon he stammers and hesitates and ums and ahs and gets lost in his own notes because he knows he doesn't have enough content to cover the whole 2-hour period assigned for his lecture.
Nope, you can't slip nothin' by me. >=D
Var
sent a postcard on 11/13/2008
What the hell! The apartment is flooded.
I came back to an empty home. Dropped my stuff off in my room, then went to switch off the living room lights. As soon as the apartment fell dark, I heard a rustling sound. I froze, knowing that I hadn't heard anyone come in after me, wondering if perhaps I had obliviously breezed past an intruder who had been hiding in the kitchen.
The rustling continued and I slowly edged my way back to the entrance hall. Dramatically stepping from around the corner, I was faced with - nothing. Just the darkness. Frowning, I reached over to switch the light back on. Only then did I realise that the sound was not rustling but trickling.
There was water leaking down the wall from the air conditioning vent.
I put some towels underneath and went downstairs to the building manager's office to get his emergency number off the door. Unfortunately he's only on duty during the weekdays so he had gone out of Melbourne to visit family and said he couldn't do anything till the morning. I thought, "Okay, that's fine. It's just a little bit of water anyway. I'm sure it'll be fine till then."
Went back to the apartment. The water was now gushing. Literally pouring forth from the air vent across our electrical switchboard, over our intercom phone and settling into our nice carpet. Joy.
Called the building manager again and explained that the situation was bad enough that it had to be dealt with right away. He suggested the apartment above was flooded and advised me to call them on the intercom. Trooping back downstairs cos our lifts are restricted, it took four times buzzing them before they picked up.
"Yeah we just got back. One of the guys left the taps on. Sorry. We're dealing with it right now."
'Left the taps on'?!?!
I headed back up once again to see if it had stopped. Eventually the water slowed to a drip. Removing the already soaked tea towels, I grabbed all the bath mats I could find and shoved them underneath to try and absorb as much moisture as possible. Knowing there was nothing more I could do till morning, I started to prepare for bed.
Ten minutes later, my rooommate called me from the kitchen, sounding quite alarmed. I joined her - and we both stared.
Water was spilling from one of the kitchen light fittings. Luckily it was mostly heading into the sink. I figured it was just the excess which had come around the other side and that eventually it would peter out on it's own. We moved the kettle and toaster from the area and switched off all the lights before placing a saucepan under the leak. I had to empty that saucepan TWICE. That's how much water was coming through - and that was only from the light fitting. There was heaps more before going into our carpet.
So now we have about a 4x4m patch of soggy carpet and a mini water feature in our kitchen.
Bloody brilliant.
Var
sent a postcard on 11/01/2008
It is a common thing to go out and spend as soon as you get a huge cash injection like when you receive your tax return. This year, one of my friends got hair extentions which were in excess of $1000. Another friend bought Guitar Hero with two guitars. I personally have never done this before. Being the stingy asian I am, I usually just immediately squirrel it away "for a rainy day". However, this year, I decided to participate in the Tax Return Spending Spree - and have purchased myself a new digital camera! =D
So now I am chillin' with my small, sexy Panasonic Lumix FS3.
It took a long time to decide because for the longest time I had been fixated upon the Sony Cybershot series. But after long deliberation, I changed my mind and am very happy with my purchase (although keep in mind that my only point of comparison is my 6-year old, 5MB brick of an ex-camera).
Here are some of the test photos I took to try it out today. Note that none of them have been altered apart from resizing in order to better represent the camera quality. Also note that my photo-taking skills are fairly average to poor. ^_^;;
And you can't have a new camera without pouncing on a cam whore opportunity! =D
Good timing too cos tomorrow is the last day of semester and therefore the last of the official wushu classes for '08. Some of my fellow wushuers are graduating and leaving Australia so it'll be good to get some parting snaps in better quality. There's also an end-of-sem club event so will hopefully get some good photos there as well!
Var
sent a postcard on 10/30/2008
Hrm...so a while ago I wrote a post about whether or not one should accept candy from an old man. Now I have another question to pose to you: would you accept candy from someone in an animal suit??
I saw him crossing the road on my way back from uni. At least I think it was a 'him'. Couldn't really tell because it was a complete costume, one of the ones which don't show your face at all. I was guessing from the height because this guy was towering at about 6'...but then again, that could've just been the costume. Also, I'm not sure what the animal was. A bunny? A fox? It was reddish/brown with long, pointed ears.
Now this might sound strange but I had to do a double-take when I noticed him. The strange part is that I didn't do that double-take cos of the outfit - I did it cos he somehow managed to look SO normal. He was just...y'know...strolling along with one of those green, environmentally-friendly shopping bags like he just came back from getting the groceries. He wasn't standing on the street with a charity bucket or some gimicky sign and he wasn't handing out fliers. Just walking around.
I stared a little longer and watched as he stopped an old lady. After a brief chat, he opened his bag and held it out to her and I saw her take what looked like a chocolate bar (was kinda in the distance but it was long with a shiny wrapper). Saying her thanks, she continued on her way and he continued on his.
...
Is anyone else feeling a bit, "wtf?? ^^;;"?
Second random thing which happened today was that a friend and I met up at a cafe for brunch. We went to sit outside and there was no one else around cos it was kinda windy. Shortly after we started eating/talking a guy came out from the cafe. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he paused to find a seat. Note that ALL the tables were empty except for ours, yet after what seemed like careful deliberation, he went to sit next to us (they were the long, bench kind of tables).
Ignoring him, we continued on our conversation but I kept noticing that whenever we said something funny, he looked over to us with a huge grin. Even though he had a newspaper in front of him he was obviously listening to everything we were talking about. Figuring nothing we were prattling on about was of any consequence anyway, we didn't really care so we continued. But when we started having an argument about (*lol*) Facebook, he outright laughed out loud and INSERTED himself into the conversation.
"Sorry guys I couldn't help but overhear what you were talking about (Yeah right, ya psycho. All those empty tables are testament to how you "couldn't help it"). I just wanted to say it is SO refreshing to find someone who shares the same views as me against Facebook."
After that, he felt he had become part of our group so kept laughing while we were talking and asking us questions. Thankfully but annoyingly they were all about Facebook. Just note that he wasn't some fellow uni student or something - this was a balding man in his late 30s to early 40s dressed in a suit.
As soon as my friend finished eating, I tried as politely as possible to remove ourselves from the situation.
O_O
...in other news....NEW CAMERA!! w00t!!! More info later when the battery has fully charged.
Var
sent a postcard on 10/30/2008
Once upon a time, we frowned upon those girls who slept around. Now we have become them.
More and more of my friends I see slipping into this phase (phase?) of promiscuous behaviour. I, too, must admit I have fallen victim to it, although granted I have slowed down a lot. In my efforts to understand the phenomena, I sought a pattern, some common factor between all these different girls I knew and myself.
This was it: they all had a serious, meaningful relationship which ended very badly with a lot of pain.
Originally I figured that this was like a rebound. Y'know...your hurt so you try and do anything which will make you forget, make you feel good, feel wanted, feel anything. I thought for all these people that it was a phase which would pass with time. "Time heals everything" is what people say, right?
But we're going on years now.
How long does something have to go for before it stops being considered a phase and becomes a part of who you are?
I know a girl who has a phone book full of different guys who she can call up at any time to scratch her itch. Another girl sleeps around within the same group of guy friends and doesn't care that they don't care about sharing. Another one drinks and drinks just so she can blur the face of whoever she's with into anonymnity. All these girls have endured this "phase" for two years or longer.
I try to vindicate myself by saying that at least the relationships I have are not one-night stands, but the intentions and the outcome are the same. Even if it lasts for months, doesn't mean that I feel more deeply about them, doesn't mean that it's about anything more than physical gratification.
I thought I was rebounding, that it would pass. But the other day during a phone conversation, my friend said, "I'm worried about you. Do you realise that it's been 2 years since you've dated?"
I was immediately defensive. "No it hasn't!"
My friend paused and I could almost imagine her shaking her head on the other end. "...I meant seriously dated."
She was right. I hadn't realised.
After further deliberation, I have revised my theory.
It is not a phase - it is a state. A state of suspension, perhaps a limbo or purgatory of sorts. These girls were in love and despite the break up, their heart still belongs to that person. However, the body has its physical needs and desires. So in an attempt to sate their natural hunger they pursue relationships, but are unable to make any real connection because they are unable to offer what is truly essential in any meaningful relationship.
If you don't understand, watch the educational video below:
While I'm on this topic, let me state this: "Boyfriend" should be an incidental label not a role than needs filling. Girls shouldn't want just anyone who fits a preference criteria. A girl should work on being happy with herself (cos god knows that's difficult enough) instead of working on making someone else like her. And if she happens to meet someone who enriches her life and she decides to share part of it with him, then this should be additional - she shouldn't recreate her life around him.
So no, my dear friends, I am not just being overly picky. Yes, I realise that he is male and yes I realise he is single. No, I am not interested. No, that doesn't mean I am gay. And by the way, I would really appreciate it if you'd stop suggesting I whore myself out to every Tom, Dick and Harry which crosses my path in the hopes that I might strike lucky and find someone of marriage material.
Why is it so hard for you guys to believe that I want to be alone??
Var
sent a postcard on 10/29/2008
For the past two nights I have had insomnia. No idea why. I settle down for sleep, climb into bed, snuggle under the covers. I feel the warmth slowly creeping up my ankles, chasing away the initial cool of the doona. The room is dark, still. I close my eyes and wait.
And wait...
And wait.
And then my alarm (which I could've sworn I only set ten minutes ago before I climbed into bed) is ringing. I stare in disbelief at the apparent time, blink with confusion at the pale colour creeping out from behind the curtain across my bedroom ceiling. After a moment, I crawl reluctantly from the sheets and examine my bloodshot eyes in the mirror.
This is how it's been. For. Two. Nights. Doesn't sound like long, but by GOD I can tell you it feels otherwise. Each time I get up, I feel like I have had no rest at all, like it's just one extended day with a pause where I am just in this limbo, between-consciousnesses state.
So right now I am feeling EXTREMELY ON EDGE. @_@ I feel jittery, shoulders hunched, unable to keep the tremble out of my fingers. It was even worse today cos it was super busy at work and I was there on my own. Bad to the point that somehow I managed to develop sweat marks on my shirt from simply running aroung reception. *lol*
I think perhaps it's the exercise? Like...too many endorphins/too much adrenaline keeping me up? That's the only thing that I can think of that has changed recently. Although when I was going every day before my foot fracture I had no problems, and I thought that exercise was supposed to help you sleep. Hmm...maybe I'm just hitting the gym too late at night.
Anyway, we'll see what happens tonight. Will keep you posted.
...or will be comatose from sleep-deprivation. -_-
